Stretchheads – Five Fingers, Four Thingers, a Facelift and a New Identity

June 9, 2008


Five Fingers, Four Thingers, a Facelift and a New Identity (Uk Moksha 1988)

If there was a reality show to crown the biggest puss-puss of the late 80s, I would have been an excellent contestant. Although I didn’t develop into the pinnacle of manliness that stands before you until my collegiate years, I always pursued catharsis through my musical purchases. Husker Du, Bad Brains, Pixies and even 24-7 Spyz enabled me to pump my fists in a fruitless rage against the faceless souls who somehow held me back. In retrospect, I was just a big puss puss and I held myself back, but there was no talking to me in my cubicle of a bedroom filled with Nintendo games, masturbatory rags and a pile of cds that kept me sane.

One of my most cathartic albums was Stretchheads’ Pish in Your Sleazebag which was released by Blast First in 1991. The riffs were batshit crazy, samples appeared out of the blue, the vocalist screeched like a goddamn banshee and it all rollicked onwards in a chaotic onslaught of noise. This is their debut and I only discovered it in the past few years, but I think I prefer it to their followup which inspired many a pumped fist. Less samples and desire to fuck with the listener, this one is all adrenaline, aggression, poor recording quality and wound-up hatred. They were contemporaries of better-known art-punks like The Ex, Dog Faced Hermans and Dawson, but they did it the best in their own ham-fisted manner.

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